Let’s Be Honest: Sometimes Puppies Kinda Suck (And That’s Totally Normal)

I started working with dogs professionally in the autumn of 2008, and since then, I’ve met hundreds upon hundreds of puppies. Over the years, my understanding of how dogs think, learn, and cope in our human world has grown and evolved — and looking back, there’s plenty I wish I’d done differently.

But if I could hop in a time machine and revisit every puppy guardian I’ve ever spoken to, and give them just one piece of advice? It would be this:

Puppies suck.

I know. It sounds like a terrible thing to say — especially to someone who’s just brought home a tiny, fluffy miracle. But hear me out.

Because what I really mean is: puppies are hard work. Frustrating. Overwhelming. Infuriating. And no one talks about that part nearly enough.

Instagram vs Reality

Across all social media platforms, we see proud pet parents posting picture-perfect snapshots of their new companions. But there is no greater deception than what we see on the photo-forward platform we all know and love: Instagram.

It’s rare to see footage of the chaos — and when we do see it, it’s often presented with a silly filter and a laugh track, glossing over the real frustration and exhaustion behind the scenes. This is especially true when it comes to puppies.

Yes, they’re adorable. Yes, they smell amazing (usually). But they’re also little bitey gremlins who will destroy your slippers, shriek in their crate at 2am, and launch themselves at your face for reasons known only to them. They’re wild. They’re relentless. They’re exhausting.

And all of that is normal.

So... why does no one tell you this?

Because there's an unspoken pressure to love every second! Puppyhood is framed as this magical, fleeting time — and it is magical. But it’s also really, really hard. You're raising a baby predator who has zero impulse control, a teeny-tiny bladder, and no idea what your expensive coffee table is for, let alone why they shouldn’t eat it.

It's a confusing, overstimulating world for them. And for you? It's like being handed a live wire wrapped in fur and told, "Good luck!"

It doesn’t mean you’re failing

Here's what I want you to know: just because you're struggling doesn't mean you’re doing something wrong.

In fact, almost every puppy guardian I work with has, at some point, whispered something like, “I think I’ve made a huge mistake.” Or googled 'Why does my puppy hate me?' while wiping tears from their keyboard. You're not a bad person. You're just tired. And likely covered in bite marks.

This is what I affectionately call puppy panic — and it’s real.

But it’s also temporary.

What your puppy really needs

The good news? You don’t need to be perfect. Your puppy isn’t looking for a flawless trainer. They’re looking for someone to help them feel safe. And safety starts with realistic expectations — for both of you.

That means:

• Managing the environment so your puppy can’t make the wrong choice all day long.

• Meeting their basic needs for sleep, sniffing, chewing, licking, and play.

• Understanding that biting, whining, and zooming are age-appropriate (even when they’re deeply annoying).

• Building habits slowly, with repetition, reinforcement, and patience.

• And above all, giving yourself permission to not love every moment.

Self-compassion is a training tool, too

This is why I now start my puppy training programmes with this simple truth: puppies kinda suck.

Because when we stop pretending that it’s all sunshine and cuddles, we can actually get down to the real work of helping your puppy — and helping you.

Compassionate training means meeting both ends of the lead with empathy. It means saying, “This is hard — and you’re doing great anyway.” It means knowing that just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means showing up every day and trying again. Even if yesterday was a total mess.

You’ve got this. And if you’re not sure you’ve got this? That’s okay too. I’m here to help.

Together, we’ll survive the land shark phase — and raise a dog you can not only live with, but thrive with.